I listened this morning to this girl pour out her longing for more of Jesus while worshiping. God’s presence came so richly while the singer poured out her longing, I first had this though of, “wait, why are they asking for More of Jesus when they already have the fullness of him?” Yet inside I knew her longing was genuine and my question something I heard people use to shame those who did have that longing. The Father gave me a picture of my girls as a toddler. They long for there Mother and Father’s full attention and affection. My girls could not get enough of our affection. Even now as they get a little older they have moments of just wanting to be held and have my full attention. I can give them my full-attention yet there is a longing for more. Not because they don’t already have it, but because it is fulfilling a deeper need to be loved and protected. Also because it just feels wonderful to soak up affection. I still long for this and enjoy it with my children. In the same way, God longs for this with us and enjoy’s it.
This brought me back to my attention towards God. There are moments where my heart longs to be fully saturated with Him, with his sweet presence. I know I already have the fullness of it available, yet my heart and minds ability to receive it and experience so often gets numbed and even hardened to receive it. It’s not always because i have done something wrong, but because of life’s circumstances and just everyday life that sometimes get’s in the way of us being aware of the fullness of Him Available to us. So I invite him in yet still feel the emptiness inside that has my heart longing for more. It is in that place of longing I come and say,
“I need more of you. The fullness of your presence and love to fill my emptiness and to heal my brokenness.”
It is in those moments his Love and Truth comes like a sweet fragrance and a warm wave of his presence that comes into those heavy empty parts of my soul and brings his truth and love.
The parts of me that are not able to receive him are not held as being wrong or guilty, but they are still in his presence even if they don’t know it, yet He is continuing to sit with them speaking truth until they are ready to receive it. How often times we get so caught up in the lies of this world and life circumstances we cannot hear His sweet whispers of truth and acceptance. It is those parts of my thinking and feeling that I trust the Father to meet with even when it feels impossible. It may not be today or tomorrow, but our Father is so good and always present and continuously bringing truth and love to our hearts when we need it most.